Healing Trauma: A Step-By-Step Guide

Healing Trauma: A Step-By-Step Guide

Aug 02, 2022

If you aspire for good mental health, then you will want to understand what trauma is, how it affects everyone, and steps to heal it. Trauma can leave you feeling anxious, depressed, and hopeless. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this guide, we will teach you the basics of how to heal trauma and regain control of your life. And before we get started, be sure to listen to Oprah Winfrey’s 60 minute segment on mental health across America and trauma survivors.


But you’ll need to practice! Make a commitment now to practice what is being taught. And I can assure you there are a few things that will get you on track and I will share them in this guide.


A common mistake I see today is people reaching out for help, but they don’t stick with one solution long enough to see the value. They want a quick fix. Your mental health matters, so I encourage you to think of how to heal it differently.


If you are the type that wants to read every book or try out every method, you are doing yourself a disservice. I’ve seen my own clients gain tremendous momentum but then venture off, try to absorb many other methods or tactics only to relapse because they started getting confused and overwhelmed. This strategy is a trap.


Pick one style and focus. You will see later on my preference is the somatic experiencing model of healing trauma. Somatic Experiencing is a method. In my practice and research, I focused my expertise on attachment and developmental trauma. I help people heal developmental trauma using the best methods I’ve used and practiced for 25 years now. There are somewhere around 28 daily practices I recommend people to integrate into their lives. When people practice consistently, they get significant results. When they split off and combine many methods, they get overwhelmed and conclude none of it works, which could not be further from the truth. I’m living proof healing can take place even in the worst situations. [You can find more about my Trauma Repair Accelerator Program Here]


What Is Trauma?


When something negative happens, it can take some time to get over the pain and feel safe again. And there are various forms of trauma, for example:

  • Developmental trauma
  • Psychological trauma
  • Accidental trauma
  • Sexual trauma
  • Falls, Poisoning, Surgery can also cause trauma


Sometimes it’s hard to believe that the incident is really over, and that the bad feeling will eventually go away. However, any trauma survivors, with patience and perseverance, will eventually be able to overcome this difficult period in life.


Developmental Traumatic Events can be caused by any type of event that is emotionally or psychologically challenging. Some common examples include:

  • Early life miss attunement that causes you to believe your wants and needs do not matter
  • Chronic dismissive behaviors from parent (controlling behaviors, lack of eye contact, shaming, etc)
  • Traumatic non-parent related experiences that occur in childhood
  • And remember, all trauma can be healed. This article will give you an overview and ways to move into trauma recovery when you are ready.


Most developmental trauma can be organized into one of these 5 buckets:

  1. Competency - Unskilled parents didn’t allow you to learn from your mistakes. The result is a lack of confidence and trust in one’s self.
  2. Autonomy - Unskilled parents had too much control over your freedom to explore. Much of this time, this pattern is well-intended but ends badly for the child later in life. You can recognize when a person has autonomy issues when they have a hard time settling down, join the military and are miserable, maybe even dislike authority figures or bosses.
  3. Belonging—We must feel like we belong somewhere to feel safe in the world. It’s hard wired into us to desire this. If we don’t get it, we’ll roam the planet as loners.
  4. Mattering—Do you feel that you matter in the world? Do you feel you are contributing to the best of your abilities? If so, this may not be an issue for you. If you feel lost and confused, there is a pretty good chance you have mattering trauma.
  5. Safety – Do you feel safe in the world? Many people don’t because their upbringing was so hostile their perceptions of how to world works are filtering life through the lens that it’s not safe. This belief cause people to never rest or quite feel like they can let their guard down.


At any moment in life later on, a person can get triggered into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. In 2004, I suddenly had this happen to me with an unexpected break up with a woman I thought I’d be with for the rest of my life. The way she went about breaking up activated traumatic events in my body. After 4 months of intense Somatic Experiencing trauma recovery therapy to heal my PTSD, I now understand how trauma can affect us without us knowing that unconscious trauma is always mobilizing our decisions. More on that in future blogs or video post.


When you experience emotional or psychological symptoms after a traumatic event, it's difficult to process what’s happening. You may feel shock, denial, or disbelief, confusion, difficulty concentrating, anger, irritability, mood swings, anxiety and fear, guilt, shame, and self-blame. These feelings can make it hard to interact with others or take care of yourself.


Physical symptoms can also be common after a traumatic event or if something later in life triggers a past traumatic memories. Insomnia or nightmares may occur as you try to make sense of what’s happened. Fatigue may become an overwhelming force in your life as you hide from the traumatic memories and attempt to move on.


Being startled easily may cause flashbacks or nightmares. Difficulty concentrating can lead to problems working or studying. Racing heartbeat and edginess and agitation are also common symptoms that might make everyday tasks feel impossible. Aches and pains often accompany muscle tension when you’re anxious about the future or struggling with intense emotions.


Other early developmental traumatic symptoms include:

  • low self worth
  • insecurity
  • lack of confidence
  • money challenges
  • sexual challenges
  • maintaining healthy relationships

Ways To Begin Healing Your Trauma


Now, let’s look at some simple things you can do to begin the trauma healing process.


Accept Support

There’s no need to center your trauma around the group or share it with other people if it doesn’t feel comfortable or safe for you. You can explore and heal your trauma in your own way, just as you would with any other personal experience.


Nurturing positive relationships is key to a happy life, and coping with trauma can be a challenging process. When you can give yourself what you may not have received early in life, you are immediately beginning the healing process. If you isolate yourself from others, you may experience depression.


I even created a trauma repair program based on all the tools I learned to heal my own trauma. At the moment, it has over 28 simple practices that “rewire” the brain and body so a person practicing can achieve healthy resolution and feel alive and healthy again.


Symptoms of Psychological Trauma

Some people experience emotional and psychological trauma symptoms after a traumatic event. Shock, denial, anxiety disorder, or disbelief may be common. Confusion, difficulty concentrating, anger, irritability, mood swings, anxiety, and fear may also occur. Guilt, shame, and self-blame may follow. People often withdraw from others and feel sad or hopeless. Physical symptoms can include insomnia or nightmares, fatigue, being startled easily, difficulty concentrating, racing heartbeat, edginess and agitation., aches and pains.


Trauma Healing Basics

If your psychological trauma symptoms don’t ease up, or if they become even worse, and you find you can’t move on from the event for a prolonged period, you may experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a serious condition that can cause anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares and other problems. If left untreated, it can lead to depression and other mental health issues. If you experience any of these symptoms after an emotional trauma such as a death in the family or assault, please talk to your doctor right away.


PTSD can occur after an emotionally traumatic event or from childhood trauma that gets re-triggered if the nervous system remains stuck and you cannot process your emotions. This can cause psychological shock, which prevents you from functioning normally.


In the overall scheme of healing trauma, you want to focus your energy on emotional regulation. There is a wide variety of ways to work yourself through the healing process.
The challenge will be to navigate negative emotions. Our brain naturally wants to avoid, so automatically moves into a fight, flight or freeze response. In your trauma healing journey, you’ll learn this reinforces the problem. The energy never gets to release like it needs to if we stay stuck in the FFF response. Instead, you want to breathe in and move with the energy.


Physical Movement

The benefits of physical movement activity go far beyond just helping you heal. Exercise and movement also provide your body with feel-good chemicals like endorphins, which can help you feel less stressed and happier.


Kick back and enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Take a walk, go for a bike ride or skate on the rink. And don’t forget your yoga mat – it’s time for some calming stretching! Or take to the dance floor solo!


The other benefit to movement is you loosen the grip on the Fight, Flight, Freeze responses that may have occurred when you were little. Many times I’ve watched clients drop into the feelings or felt-sense of the original event only to discover an incomplete movement. If you practice movement, practice with intention.


Let’s say you remember some childhood trauma event where you felt powerless. Replay the sequence slowly as you move about the room. When you reach the point where you wanted to fight or flight (run) this time around, do so. Feel the impulse from the inside out. Act on it. Follow through on the impulse.


For years, I had traumatic memories of my father being mean to me and I wanted to hit him. So I’d put him in front of me, feeling all the feelings I used to feel. I’d look at him and say what I wished I could have said during the original event when my life felt threatened. In the original events, I was so scared I’d go into a freeze response and maybe even dissociation if the energy was too scary.


This time around, however, I could feel my power as the adult “Ed”. The power came through my words and actions. I’d say what I want, then strike the imaginary “him”. I’d play out his reactions and allow that primitive part of my brain to follow through on its impulses to release the stuck energy. Today, I no longer remember what happened and am thrilled. Thoughts of him now bring joy to my face.


Work With Your Feelings

Although it may be difficult at first, you may have powerful emotions, such as anger. These feelings are natural and necessary for growth.


There’s nothing wrong with feeling new emotions, and that includes feeling a wide variety of emotions. It’s natural to feel excited about things, scared, happy, and more. No matter what you’re feeling, there’s no need to worry or be ashamed. You’re just experiencing life in its fullest!


When feelings come up, imagine a bell curve in front of you as you watch the emotions rise and fall. In time, you’ll realize there is nothing to be afraid of. When you learn to allow the emotions to move and have a voice, you become liberated and they stop wreaking havoc in your life and decision making.


Here is another practice you can do.


Practice Self-Care

To practice self-care throughout your healing journey, take small actions that make you feel good and loved. This will help you to stay on track and progress towards your goals.
To be truly happy, you need to set aside time for yourself every day. Happiness comes from caring for yourself and doing things that make you feel loved. Carve out at least fifteen minutes each day to do something that makes you happy and comfortable.


Take Breaks

Taking brief breaks throughout the day can help keep your energy up and prevent you from feeling too tired. Plus, it’ll give you a chance to do something fun!


Practice Mindfulness or Meditation

Stress can be a real nuisance in your life, but there are some simple techniques you can use to reduce it. Meditation and breathwork are two popular options that improve stress levels and make you more relaxed and content. If you’re looking for ways to de-stress, give these two practices a try!


Don’t isolate

Talking about your trauma with someone face-to-face is important. They don’t have to know the full details of what happened, just that you need to talk to them. Someone who will listen attentively without judging you is a valuable ally in healing.


If you struggle with intense emotions, turn to a trusted family member, friend, counselor, or pastor for help. Explaining your feelings and getting support from those closest to you can help ease the burden and allow you to process these difficult thoughts and emotions.


Even if you don’t feel like it, take part in social activities. This will help you break through the fear brain’s mechanism that is reacting to the trauma. Stay social and make new friends and enjoy your time together. This will help speed healing, eliminating you going “deeper into the hole.”


Learn to self-regulate your nervous system

Whether you’re feeling on edge or just trying to get some peace, know that there is a way to calm yourself down. One key to calming yourself is altering your arousal system, so learn how to do this if things get out of control.


By using a trauma-relieving technique, you will control the anxiety that comes with traumatic experiences. This will help you feel better overall and to manage your life more effectively.


When to Seek Professional Therapy for Trauma

The healing journey is not always easy or direct. If you’re struggling to function at home or work, have severe fear, anxiety, or depression, cannot form close relationships, are experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks, and are emotionally numb and disconnected from others then seeking help from a trauma specialist may be the best course of action for you. Working through trauma can be a challenging process that requires the support of an experienced professional. If you feel you may benefit from talking with a therapist or counselor about your experiences, please reach out.


Steps To Heal Trauma In The Body

Let’s summarize some key point for you.

  1. Trauma is about energy being stuck in the body, NOT the even itself
  2. Focus on learning how to self regulate (emotional regulation) to gain fastest traction
  3. Talk therapy is not an ideal model for releasing stuck energy in the body. A body-centered approach like The Hendricks Institute Method of Body Centered Psychotherapy, or Somatic Experiencing.


If you’re looking to try out a new form of therapy, EMDR might be a good option for you. This treatment incorporates elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy with eye movements or other forms of rhythmic stimulation that can help “unfreeze” traumatic memories. By working through the memories and addressing the emotions associated with them, EMDR can have a considerable impact on your overall well-being.
Be sure to seek out a person who has a reputation. If the therapist has not done their own trauma work and knows how to deeply attune to their clients, no form of therapy will be useful.


Somatic Experiencing and the Hendricks Institute Method is my preferred method of healing trauma. Somatic experiencing is a body-based healing method that was developed by Peter Levine, Ph.D. It incorporates the study of stress physiology, psychology, ethology, biology, neuroscience, indigenous healing practices, and medical biophysics in order to provide relief from trauma. This technique has been successful in providing relief for patients for over 45 years.


Ed Ferrigan, M.A., CPCC, SEP is a trauma specialist that has the highest designation in the Somatic Experiencing Method. He has been helping individuals, couples, and teams develop emotional intelligence, trauma repair skills, and skills to navigate conflict since 1997. His latest program is called the Trauma Repair Accelerator the provides the viewer with over 25 simple to practice techniques to release trauma from the body. You can reach Ed at: https://edferrigan.com or https://traumahealingmadeeasier.com